Spread the Boredom

So I think the whole purpose of blogging is to post about the interesting/exciting things that happen in your life. However, I always notice that when such things are happening in my life, I never have any time to blog. Yet now, when my life is completely mundane, I can't stop making posts because I have nothing better to do.... So I guess I'm trying to just spread the boredom around.

Spend a good few hours looking for jobs today. Once again nothing for me. I found a lot of stuff for people with various nursing credentials and a lot of stuff in manufacturing. But even that they all want people with experience or engineering degrees.

The weather was nice and warm today. Around 40 so I let the cats venture outside again. Since it wasn't as cold, Cleo didn't protect being there as much as usual, and spent some time sniffing around and testing out the snow. The problem was Cleo and Kira kept wanting to go two separate ways and I was being pulled from both arms. Eventually, Cleo had enough again, let out a little meow at the door and I let her in. Kira didnt really stay out much longer, but she had fun jumping in the snow. Its so cute because it practically comes up to her belly. Below are a couple pictures from our adventure today taken on my phone. There are a couple more on my facebook if you'd like to see them.

Cleo trying to avoid the snow

Kira exploring.

Non-Productivity

Hey there readers,

There really isnt much to report right now. Job front is still well, where it was. I've applied to a few more places and I have a lead on a position that should open up soon, its just not actually posted to where I CAN apply yet. So, we'll keep checking on that daily.

Today and tomorrow are Zach's days off (or his weekend you could say) and those days never really seem to  be productive like I want them to be. I always have a list of stuff I want to get done, but what really happens is that we end up spending the day just enjoying being together, watching movies and such, because otherwise we don't really see each other often. Then just like that its Friday morning and he's off to work again and 2 days are gone. Oh well, it all gets done eventually.

Today we actually had a plan to do 2 things. 1: goto the DMV and get Zach his Illinois license and 2: make Zach a dentist appointment. Well, neither of them happened, but not because we never got to them. While researching the hours of the DMV, Zach learned that to change his license he needs his birth certificate, which is in Iowa. So, that has been put off until the next time we are in Iowa to pick that up. And the dentist was booked for a couple weeks, so they're going to call if someone cancels. So I guess you could say we sorta got them done? haha.

We took the cats outside again today. They now each have their own kitty harness and leash so they can be out at the same time, instead of taking turns crying in the window. Cleo still really doesnt like it and pretty much just plants her butt on the porch and refuses to go anywhere, pissing Kira off because now she's stuck too. So in the end Cleo gets to go back inside which is what she wants at the time, but then spends the rest of the time crying at the window to get out again....oh silly Kitty.

Kitty Cats and Snow

My cats are always crying to get outside. They love playing in the screen porch, but lately it's just been too cold. Not really for them, but for me because we have to leave the door open so they can come back in. So a few weeks ago I bought a small dog harness and borrowed my neighbors dog leash and put it on them. It was too big for Kira, but Cleo went out for about 2 minutes before she found a patch of snow and spazzed.

Lately Kira has been trying to dart out doors every chance she gets. So tonight I put the harness and leash on her and took her out. *Plop* right into the fresh snow. It went up past her elbows. She loved it. I mean she didn't like run around or anything but she loved walking in it and digging holes and eating it. She even plopped down and rolled around once. The only time she fought the leash was when i pulled on it preventing her from climbing a pine tree like a christmas tree. Eventually I saw she was shivering so I brought her back in.

Mom said Cleo cried the whole time we were out there so I put it on her and put her in it too. She sniffed a bit and wouldnt walk and actually turned and meowed back at the door...so i picked her up and *plop* out where i first dropped Kira. She took 2 steps then froze. I looked up and CRAP the neighbor dog was out side doing its duty. Cleo started back tracking and pulling at the leash. She had already managed to get it off once before and I didn't want her getting out of it then running from the dog, so I picked her up and carried the kicking and screaming Kitty back indoors where she promptly sat and began cleaning her feet. I think it seems safe to say that Cleo is not really an outside cat...at least not in the winter.

Sorry no pics, but its 930 PM so it was pretty dark outside.

Jen

Blarg

So I love seeing people being all happy and their wedding pictures and hearing about their pregnancies, but then every once in a while I realize how much I want all that to be me. I'm the typical girl, I've been planning my perfect wedding and my kids' names since I was like 10. So now that I see it becoming a reality around me with just about every one I know, it makes me wonder if I'll ever really get all that. I just want to close my eyes and have my life started, I'm sick of waiting. I don't want to watch people get engaged/married and have kids. I want to experience it. And I know while part of me thinks that if I were to magically get that in my life I'd be happier, but I know that none of that will give me a job or money or make me be able to survive in the real world on my own. Sometimes I just want to quit trying because nothing works out like I'd like it to. In the words of Bruce: "God is a kid with a magnifying glass and I'm the ant".

I sit here and write all this and then I feel guilty because I love Zach very much and I know he loves me too, but it doesn't stop me from wanting all that. If anything it makes me want it more. I don't want anything I say or think to hurt him. He goes out and he works and makes money and I can't even get a job. I just feel useless, and it wouldn't surprise me if he never decided to propose or anything like that because whats the point in being with someone who can't get a job at Walmart even. Whatever...

The Good and the Bad

I'm going to start with the bad. That way I can end the post with the positive...or at least that's the plan. So yet another job has been denied. I went through 3 interviews and a test with one place just to be turned down. I don't understand it, I even had experience with the computer programs they used. I've applied to other places: banks, stores, etc and I can't even get call backs. Every time theres an "assessment" I never do well enough. Just what are these people wanting? A person with an education, who busted their ass to do well, get good grades and try and be a good person at the same time. So instead of that, these places are going to hire some high school drop out who spends their money on booze and weed. Now between those two choices I know who I would want working for me, but I guess because I have a degree they all think I'm not willing to work for minimum wage. While I'd prefer not to, I know that's about all I can get. I'm just so frustrated, I've looked in 3 towns and got nothing. Just what am I supposed to do? I've got bills to pay like everyone else and even though I live with my parents, I only have 250 to my name...that's not going to get far, esp when it takes me 40 to fill my tank which i have to keep filling to get to these interviews that go no where. Well today I picked up a packet to apply to be a substitute teacher....lets see if I can get that at least.

Enough of that, the good-ish news is that I was accepted into an online masters program for library science. While I'm really excited because this is something that I really want to do with my life, that's another 20k for another degree that's going to make me even less qualified for jobs. Ok well I guess that wasn't keeping positive for the end...but that's kinda hard to do in times like these I guess. I'll try to write more soon.

Hello World

Hello there internet world,
I think this is probably my millionth attempt at making a blog. I had pretty much given up on blogging and turned to vlogging, but my life at this point has a lot of down time and apparently youtube, facebook and twitter isn't keeping me occupied enough. Plus the random updates on Betsy's blog make me miss the days of writing down menial things that happen in my life for no one to read.

I guess blogging is a form of a diary, except instead of locking your thoughts and feelings away and hiding them under your mattress so your older sister can't read them, its making everything that we feel and fear and want made public. We place it out there with the hopes that even one person will read it, and maybe that person will be able to comfort us, or make us laugh, or even feel better about themselves. And while I'm sure there are some things we will still bottle up inside, because we'd rather those thoughts be hidden under our mattresses where even we are afraid to go back and read them; blogging is simply what we make it. It can be a diary, or a writers muse, a therapist, or a friend. I don't know why the pen has always called my name and told me to create, but once again I've been moved to share with the world in a way that many before me have.

So internet world, I invite you to look at the world with me as I see it through words, videos and photographs. Welcome to my Autumn Skye.